How to Keep Your Daughter Safe at Uni, Travelling & Beyond
Are You Crossing Your Fingers and Hoping for the Best?
By Sensei Chelle | Self-Defence Instructor | 4th Dan Black Belt
As a self-defence instructor with over 40 years of experience, I have had more conversations with worried parents than I can count. Daughters are heading off to university, planning gap years, booking their first solo trips. And the parents? They're quietly terrified.
I completely understand it. I'm a mum of four girls myself. That tension between wanting your daughter to spread her wings and desperately wanting to wrap her in bubble wrap? I live it too.
But some of the things parents say to me still stop me in my tracks.
"We're Just Going to Cross Our Fingers and Hope for the Best"
I hear this more than you'd think. And every single time, I have to take a breath.
Crossing your fingers is not a safety plan. Hoping for the best is not a strategy.
Think about it this way: if your daughter was going on an activity holiday — white water rafting, cliff jumping, open water swimming — and she couldn't swim, would you send her anyway and just hope it works out? Of course not. You'd book her swimming lessons.
So why, when it comes to her personal safety, do we shrug and say "she'll be fine"?
Getting your daughter self-defence skills before she goes is the equivalent of those swimming lessons. It's practical. It's empowering. And it could genuinely make a difference when it matters most.
"But She Doesn't Listen to Me"
This is the other thing I hear constantly — and honestly, it makes me smile every time.
Of course she doesn't listen to you. What teenage daughter listens to their parents? I've had four of them. They didn't listen to me either.
But here's what parents tell me after their daughters attend one of my courses: "She listened to you."
Yes. Because I'm the self-defence instructor. They know I know what I'm talking about. To them, you're just their parent — and what do parents know, right?!
Sometimes the message lands better coming from someone else. And that's okay. Use it.
How to Keep Your Daughter Safe: What She Needs to Know
Self-defence isn't just about learning how to throw a punch. Real, practical self-defence covers three essential areas — and all three are just as important as each other.
1. Awareness
This is the foundation of everything.
Take a walk down any high street and look around. How many teenage girls do you see with both earphones in, head down, scrolling their phone, completely tuned out from the world around them? Awareness — genuine, active awareness of your surroundings — is your daughter's first and most powerful line of defence.
The vast majority of dangerous situations can be avoided altogether when you're paying attention. Noticing the person who's been walking behind you for a little too long. Choosing a well-lit route. Clocking the exits when you walk into a venue. These aren't paranoid habits — they're smart ones.
Your daughter needs to learn how to be present, alert, and switched on — even when she's tired, even when she's had a great night out, even when she's in an unfamiliar city for the first time.
2. Boundaries
Knowing your boundaries is one thing. Being able to hold them under pressure is another.
A huge part of self-defence is verbal and social — learning how to assert yourself clearly and confidently when someone makes you uncomfortable. How to say no and mean it. How to remove yourself from a situation that feels wrong. How to trust that gut feeling that something is off, rather than dismissing it to avoid seeming rude.
For many young women, especially those heading into new social environments like university, this is the skill they need most. The confidence to hold a boundary — with a stranger, a new acquaintance, or even someone in their social circle — is something that has to be practised. It doesn't come automatically.
3. Physical Defence
And yes — if it ever comes to it — your daughter needs to know what to do physically.
Not to fight. Not to start anything. But to get out. To create space. To escape.
There are real, practical techniques that anyone can learn regardless of size, strength, or fitness level. Moves that work in real-world situations. And knowing those techniques does something powerful beyond the physical: it gives your daughter confidence. The kind of quiet, grounded confidence that changes how she carries herself — which in itself changes how she's perceived.
This Is What My Course Gives Her
I'm running a one-day intensive courses specifically designed for teenage girls who are about to take the next big step in their lives — whether that's university, travelling, or simply more independence.
In one day, she will cover all three of those pillars: awareness, boundaries, and physical defence. She will leave feeling strong, capable, and confident.
Not just with a set of techniques — but with a mindset.
This is not a scary course. It's not intense or intimidating. It's a safe, supportive space where girls learn practical skills in an environment that empowers them, not frightens them.
Stop Crossing Your Fingers
Your daughter is going to go. She's going to have adventures, make mistakes, and grow into herself — that's exactly what she should do. You can't be there for every moment of it.
But you can help keep your daughter safe by making sure she's prepared.
Don't send her into the world hoping for the best. Give her the tools to handle whatever comes her way.
💪 Let's get her ready.
Sensei Chelle is a 4th Dan Black Belt with over 40 years of experience in self-defence and jiu-jitsu. She specialises in empowering women and girls of all ages with the awareness, confidence, and practical skills to keep themselves safe.
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